Maybe some of you know that I’m a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch. You obviously stumbled across some stuff if you’re following me on Google+, Facebook or Twitter. Honouring Benedict – who is very fond of books and reading – we (thanks to a lovely twitter fan) started a book project on Better World Books.
Because I am addicted to books and always have one or two sitting on my desk, I ordered some books too, giving my books new companions. I think books are something very special, they are a bit alive. Sort of. But I didn’t know that they are able to write emails. Well, they are. At least the copy of “The Patrick Melrose Novels: Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, and Mother’s Milk” which is excited to meet me! Don’t believe this? Well, here’s the email:
Will I need a dust jacket?
“Holy canasta! It’s me… it’s me! I can’t believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I’ve got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can’t believe I’m leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already – the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge – so many memories. I don’t have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it’s time to see the world!
I can’t wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol’ brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?
I’ve found a new home
I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I’ve had, I’m ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn’t take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I’ve found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.
But hey, enough about me, I’ve been asked to brief you on a few things: (my address)
Eagerly awaiting our meeting.”
If part of this article sound weird this is due to the fact that I’m no native speaker, so don’t be too harsh.
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